Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Musings: Just say yes

I have spent a great deal of energy during my life promoting clear thinking. This has been helpful to people in the context of my former career, but the dynamics are different in a family, and especially between a husband and wife. With my husband this focus on clarity of thought comes in the shape of correcting his inconsistencies and and instructing him on how to achieve the same level of clarity that I possess [shamefaced grin].

Since I became Catholic and got up the nerve to address "the Mary issue", I have found what a powerful resource her life is as a model for us. The more I meditate on how she responded to situations, the easier I find it to respond the same way. After all, if she, being "only human" could respond with grace, patience, and humility in difficult situations, there's no reason why I can't learn to do the same.

This is playing out in my life most profoundly in my responses to my husband when (from my perspective) he is being inconsistent or otherwise not thinking clearly about something. I am learning to "just say yes" - rather than arguing a point, or instructing him, I am letting go of the issue in my heart; I am acknowledging inside myself that it's okay for him to hold opinions that I disagree with, or believe things that I think are incorrect, or even decide that we should do things that I would not choose. If these things bother God, He knows how to get through to David without my help.

What has surprised me as I have begun to practice this virtue is how immediate the reward is. The unexpected result is a peace that fills my soul and strengthens me to continue to walk this path. Because of that I'm finding excitement in each opportunity to accept my husband's thoughts and proposals without reservations. And it only took me 45 years to let go of insisting on my perspective being right!

I'm so thankful that this man is both gracious and patient!

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